The past week was the definition of an emotional roller coaster. Monday’s RAOKK (Random Acts of Katie Kindness) Day was incredible, and I’ll post the details soon. For now, I’ll just say that it was powerful in ways that I never expected.
However, over the past several weeks, Chili, one of our beloved dogs, had taken a turn for the worst–we noticed a mass of some sort growing on her chest, and a week later when we got her into the vet, it had gone from odd and concerning to huge and painful. At the beginning of Thanksgiving week, we had a biopsy done to see what we were dealing with and if there would be a way to treat it. We had reason to hold on to hope, so with the help of family we kept her as comfortable as possible while we waited for news.
It wasn’t good. This past week, on Wednesday, December 3, we made the decision to have her put down to release her from the pain she’d been in for several weeks. I can’t explain my devastation. We adopted Chili in May of 2006 when she was about 10 weeks old, and she was my buddy from day one. She was super smart, incredibly well behaved, and a total riot. She was my furry black alarm clock, and I could always count on her to cover me in kisses anytime I needed some love. I cried so hard on Wednesday that I was literally doubled over, unable to breathe, and almost unable to walk. I fully believe that we did the right thing, and today, with a few days distance, my heart feels a bit of peace knowing that, even though I will miss her forever, she isn’t hurting anymore. That’s what matters most.
This post, however, isn’t really about Chili.
It’s about Clint.
Monday was all about being selfless and finding ways to show kindness to others, and Clint provided the greatest act of kindness, the most selfless act I can imagine, for me on that day. On Monday, the vet called Clint and gave him the details about Chili’s condition, and it was pretty clear to both of them that there would only be one real option for us. Clint knew how important Monday was to me–he knew that honoring Katie’s life was something my soul so deeply needed, and he heard throughout the day what an amazing day I was having. I was flying high on the joy of giving to others.
He didn’t want to ruin that feeling for me, so he chose to wait until Tuesday to tell me about Chili. His heart was breaking, just like mine would do when I found out the news. I can’t imagine carrying that pain alone–the pain of knowing we were going to lose Chili, and the pain of knowing he was going to have to break the news to me. On a day dedicated to offering acts of kindness to others, he performed one of the most selfless acts I can possibly imagine by holding that pain for both of us so I could honor Katie fully, in a way my heart truly needed.
His is one of the faces of absolute, real, true love in my world, and in the world all around him.